5 Minute Management Course
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the
Bahamas
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Decisions...decisions...
Beginning of the month I was faced with a decision....to keep where I live by paying the deposits and signing the lease or finding a new place by march first. I wasn't sure at first. I wanted to continue and make a life here, but it was sorta a selfish hope too. I stay in fulton for myself, and no one else. Its really selfish. I have lina and my sister here too. Fulton doesn't benefit them. I brought them into the room and talked. We thought we'd moved to columbia but sign the lease if it doesn't work out. There was a third plan of me and lina returning home if we couldn't find a place. As the week progressed, I just wanted to go home. So much has happened over the past few months. I've had the hardest time since I first moved to mo keeping a place. I would go from one room for rent/sublease to another. I never had a place of my own to keep. I was hoping this place would be it. The truth though sits me in the face. I have a house that is old and 550 a month. It needs to be fixed up and I don't have the money for it. Jobs are all the way in columbia. I have no license. Its been suspended for almost two years. I have probably thousands in fines that need to be paid.
I've realized that i need to figure out my next steps in life. I love going to woods. The asl program is amazing and everything i want. I love all that I'm learning. McCray's perspective on Deaf and what we should do on interpreters is what I want as apart of my education cause I've seen so many treat Deaf as if they are disabled, stupid, or what not. Its not right. They have full lives. They just can't hear. They have a world and community all their own. The other day I was told by some tax preparer owner that I was so kind to do things for Deaf. I wanted to smack him or something. The way he talked about them was just completely wrong. I am interested in interpreting and asl studies because I love asl and at woods i learned that the area of Deaf studies incorporates everything I love studying into one degree. All my questions and concerns about the direction I was going in had been answered in that one semester. I loved it. i couldn't get enough of what I was studying. I was in my element among the interpreting students. I loved that woods took on the aspect that many interpreters out there weren't at the level that they should be and wanted asl to be our B language (second language that you are fluent as possible with since its not your native language). Its not about the job, but the people we serve.
But, I also had trouble at woods. I've been out of college for too long. I would have breezed through last semester with no issues if i was fresh out of high school. I was able to breeze until i was 22. I could do math and english easily. i can't now. I need help. I need my basics taken care of in an environment where I'm not alone and always searching for help. Away from Tennessee, I'm always seeking out home and work while trying to attempt school. Its not going so well for me. I know i can have what I need back home while going to school. I have many adjustments I have not made that I need for school. I need to focus on my general classes so that I can pass and be adjusted to school. It may take me a long time to pass, but I need to take the best path for me. Many options lay before me to help me. I can attend UT, go to nashville state or northeast state. I can return to ETSU once I've taken three good grade classes so that my gpa is back up. I think I should probably look at northeast or nashville state for the summer. Would only do nash state if they are doing asl 2. I have til july to figure out my next step....if i'll return to woods or if i'll stay to take care of my core classes.
A few other issues deal with transportation, my tickets, and a few other things. These may determine when i graduate.
There's a lot for me to think about and figure out over the next few months. I need to be an a place where I can do that. The best place is at home at my mothers. As hectic as it can be there, its home and where I can get my head together. Hopefully, I'll know by july. If not, I'll attend northeast state and ETSU until I do.
I've realized that i need to figure out my next steps in life. I love going to woods. The asl program is amazing and everything i want. I love all that I'm learning. McCray's perspective on Deaf and what we should do on interpreters is what I want as apart of my education cause I've seen so many treat Deaf as if they are disabled, stupid, or what not. Its not right. They have full lives. They just can't hear. They have a world and community all their own. The other day I was told by some tax preparer owner that I was so kind to do things for Deaf. I wanted to smack him or something. The way he talked about them was just completely wrong. I am interested in interpreting and asl studies because I love asl and at woods i learned that the area of Deaf studies incorporates everything I love studying into one degree. All my questions and concerns about the direction I was going in had been answered in that one semester. I loved it. i couldn't get enough of what I was studying. I was in my element among the interpreting students. I loved that woods took on the aspect that many interpreters out there weren't at the level that they should be and wanted asl to be our B language (second language that you are fluent as possible with since its not your native language). Its not about the job, but the people we serve.
But, I also had trouble at woods. I've been out of college for too long. I would have breezed through last semester with no issues if i was fresh out of high school. I was able to breeze until i was 22. I could do math and english easily. i can't now. I need help. I need my basics taken care of in an environment where I'm not alone and always searching for help. Away from Tennessee, I'm always seeking out home and work while trying to attempt school. Its not going so well for me. I know i can have what I need back home while going to school. I have many adjustments I have not made that I need for school. I need to focus on my general classes so that I can pass and be adjusted to school. It may take me a long time to pass, but I need to take the best path for me. Many options lay before me to help me. I can attend UT, go to nashville state or northeast state. I can return to ETSU once I've taken three good grade classes so that my gpa is back up. I think I should probably look at northeast or nashville state for the summer. Would only do nash state if they are doing asl 2. I have til july to figure out my next step....if i'll return to woods or if i'll stay to take care of my core classes.
A few other issues deal with transportation, my tickets, and a few other things. These may determine when i graduate.
There's a lot for me to think about and figure out over the next few months. I need to be an a place where I can do that. The best place is at home at my mothers. As hectic as it can be there, its home and where I can get my head together. Hopefully, I'll know by july. If not, I'll attend northeast state and ETSU until I do.
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