Intelligence

I was thinking about how i use to be long ago. Growing up, I always wanted to be the smart one. I read ad studied the best i could. I can't say i was smart, but I liked to pretend i was. I wanted to do it cause I didn't seem to have much other talent that could be noticed. I have many times proven I wasn't smart when i tried to pretend.

Sometimes I catch myself doing that. Its rare but i do. I kinda laugh at it now when I see it in hindsight. Some days I felt bad for myself. I was a kid that was always made fun of and hated life. I tried my best to fit in, even though my real reason for being made fun of is no different than what choice you had in the color of your eyes. Children are just cruel. When they have parents who don't care or don't know, it continues.

But there are many things and words in this world I don't know or don't know how to say. I admit that now. I love admitting my faults as an adult. It not only feels good, but its funny. My nicknames of Pinky, Stupid, Stimpy, etc reflect those faults. I embraced them instantly. I embraced those who gave me the names cause they accepted me as I am.

I wish sometimes I knew that as a kid. I wish I knew how great life was when people accept you as who you are. I continuously kept trying to impress those around me and always afraid of being left alone. Pretty much ended up alone anyway until high school, minus one school. The downside to our moving and having psoriasis. ;) I think the greatest school we went to was Wren. It was the first place I went to where I wasn't the underdog and could be me. It was a nice feeling.

Thats my thought of the day.