So i'm back home in mo, which means i'll be blogging more often. The reason i blog is to let those i love know whats going on. Last night when i started out towards the long 12 hr trip, I thought about things...mostly..my mom cried when i left. My mom goes through a lot with me over the past ten years, but she's very strong and amazing. She's always been there all my life even though we didn't live with her our whole life. The past nine years has been hard and she's been there. She was there when dad told me not to come back home cause I wanted to help a friend instead of staying at my grandmother's to finish out my driving class. She didn't push me to go to tn at first. She understood we were young and 18. My friends and I wanted to have our own place and feel all adult...sadly we didn't understood what that entailed. After a week or two of teens doing crazy things, she took me back to tn/va since we couldn't get a place of our own. I stayed the summer with family then went to mom's in bristol in august to get a job. She taught me to drive then helped me get a license. She helped me as i struggled to get my first job then got one at sonic. (Its frustrating when mcd's says you don't have experience for them to hire you >.>)
Over the years though, I've learned a lot cause of my mom. If i don't know, I go to her and ask. She's always willing to give advice. She's patient as I discover my world and try to figure out what I want for my life. I tell people, with pride honestly, I am my mother's daughter. I mean that as in I am very much like my mother. Most would think this is bad, but my mom is a great person. She doesn't always make the wisest move but she does her best to follow her heart and live life to the best of her ability. She's helped me with so much over the years. She was there with a uhaul and my brothers when i went back to sc to go to g'ville tech and it fell through. She helped me get home when i went to cali and needed to return home cause something was found in my chest. (its still there >.>) She was there when Michael broke up with me to call nathan to tell him why i couldn't talk then stayed through the whole process. She was there on my stupid chattanooga run back in summer'07 when I wanted to start my asl degree before learning tn was dropping it. She helped me get my car and helped me get my apt in johnson city while I focused on work and finally starting on being serious about my asl education. She was there when I wanted to start at a school finally and went applying. She was there when I started at ETSU and lost my job at ACT. She helped me learn about medical insurance and unemployment. She's helped me in finding out the medical issues I have and figuring out what they really were. She supported me when I moved to mo last august to see if the schools in mo were what i wanted for my education, since they have both associates and bachelors....which isn't common from what i've researched. She's still with me today as I journey to get to the point I've worked to for five years, starting my asl bachelors at an asl school. I've been through a lot of hell the past year, so it makes being at WWU truly worth it.
Mom has suffered and cried many many tears while still encouraging me through everything. She's the reason I have the hope I have and encourage others to dream without limits. Its why I use sl because I believe we shouldn't have limits, and second life is the world without limits. I stopped believing in the idea of settling for what i'm given and go for my dreams. The next four or so years (i'm a double major in asl and interpreting) will include many risks. I hope to be able to do it on my own....and without crazy roommates who are bipolar or having yapping dogs...well lina's crazy but i love her type of crazy. haha. Mom has given me to the tools i need for my future. Now i can step forward and do what i need to have the life i wish for.
We joke that i owe mom hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I owe mom everything for making me the adult I am and letting me grow instead of telling me what adult i should be. If i ever have kids, I wouldn't mind being the crazy mom she is cause she's an amazing mother. She says she regrets many things, but those things have made her who she is. As J Reu says, "Hindsight is a beautiful thing when you can look back and see what time can bring." Remember changing the past and regretting it changes who you are now and the life you have. ;) Never regret. Learn, enjoy, and smile that you lived well.
now to watch ju's crazy reality shows >.> or just chat on sl haha
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